


Before I disappear

by newmoons



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt, LGBT, LGBT+, Romance, queer, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newmoons/pseuds/newmoons
Summary: Lena reflects on her humanity.
Relationships: Amélie Lacroix/Lena Oxton, Lena "Tracer" Oxton/Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix, Lena Oxton x Widowmaker, Lena Oxton/Amélie Lacroix, Lena Oxton/Widowmaker, Tracer X Widowmaker, Tracer/Widowmaker, Widowmaker x Lena Oxton, Widowmaker/Lena Oxton, Widowmaker/Tracer, amelie lacroix x lena oxton, lena "tracer" oxton/widowmaker, lena oxton x amelie lacroix, widowmaker x tracer, widowmaker/lena "tracer" oxton
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Before I disappear

"Amelie? There are some things I'd like to say to you before I disappear."

Lena smiled sadly as she took a seat on the sofa beside the woman who sat so elegantly. Her long legs were crossed and, in the early morning light, Lena could have worshipped her.

"Time has never been on my side," the brunette began softly. She sat beside Amelie and took the assassin's cold hand in her own, rubbing gentle circles into the back of her hand with her thumbs.

Amelie seemed to regard her with cold eyes, but Lena knew it was only in defense.

"You know, you're your own assassin; you don't need help with that," Amelie said. It could have been considered something of a hurtful remark, but it was a warning in truth: Lena happened to break her own heart over these things, it was true.

Lena nodded quietly, lips pursed.

"Well," Widowmaker prodded, one raven brow raised. "Go on, then."

Lena inhaled and exhaled deeply, eyes slipping closed. She couldn't do this, could she? Her head tilted back and her stare did not waver as she watched the ceiling.

It was a death note, wasn't it?

What was dust to Lena was gold to Amelie: Lena may have given up on their forever, but Widowmaker would never. Not now- not after being saved.

Lena couldn't imagine forever anymore. Not since she'd been shown what true endlessness was in the slipstream.

She'd really been lost, and did one ever recover from such an alienating experience? How could she even begin to explain that she'd seen all that she would ever become?

She was permanently altered.

Lena frowned. "You want me to say it?" She asked.

What had she brought up, exactly? Or rather, why? The thought had been trailing her for hours, haunting her in nightmares that woke her with a jolt at night.

Amelie wasn't a fool, either: she was acutely aware of Lena's fear of disappearing again, but it wasn't ever really confirmed that it would happen... not again.

Until recently. They couldn't have ever kept it at bay for long enough for Lena to expect a future, but she had lived every day as if it were her last.

Hence, Amelie in her life. It ripped her to shreds that she played with fire, with justice this way, but if Amelie could provide any safety for her heart, she would always be willing.

She couldn't help that she'd fallen in love.

All these bruises on her heart, and she could only hold herself close: Amelie did not deserve to hold an entire future in her hands that was so self-destructive, but here she was.

Lena tilted her head. "The accelerator isn't perfect," she clarified. Her lower lip wavered against her self control.

"And I am brainwashed," Amelie said with a hint of sarcasm. Lena smiled. "Not so much as ya think, love," she replied, raising a hand to cup Amelie's cheek and press her lips to the never-too-cold skin.

"I love you, you know," Lena continued. It wasn't the first time she'd said it, and it wouldn't be the last: Lena loved to love, and often told Amelie when night had come for them that she did indeed feel for her, but... now was separate.

An entirely different matter: her existence.

"I'm not leaving," she added quickly, eyes widening at the tone of her own voice so final, so pained. It had to be said, though, didn't it? Even though they were both aware: Lena couldn't survive in this world, having been ripped in half between another.

"Then why do you speak this way?" Amelie questioned. She always did get straight to the point, and sometimes it had angered Lena. It was appreciated now, though, despite her anxiety to be honest.

"The accelerator," she replied. "It's... eh, dying?" She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head as she looked away. This wasn't news, but it was the first time they would be discussing... well, them.

"And what does this mean?" Widowmaker continued to question. She had crossed her legs now, with a hand openly cupping the side of her face while other laid languidly across her lap. She was... comfortable?

Lena's eyebrows furrowed. Was she... okay with this? Had she made her peace, where it tore Lena apart night by night?

"D'you not think so?" She asked with a tilted head. "You know, the science is..." She faltered. She didn't want to trigger anything in Amelie: she had seen far too many episodes with similar words uttered past shaking lips.

"Experimental," Amelie offered. She was staring through Lena, pushing her to continue. Lena swallowed.

Amelie leaned forward, serious eyes piercing Lena until she was uncomfortable, fidgeting in her own space.

"We cannot know I will not... revert," Amelie said, "yet you do not speak so of me. Why do you torture yourself, cherie?" She asked.

Lena's lips parted in confusion.

"You never said I was too much to handle when we began," Amelie reflected, leaning back to   
settle into the cushions. "I will not say it of you."

Lena smiled, but the thoughts did not leave her. She simply shook her head, letting the moment rest on slightly-eased shoulders.

They would discuss this another time, but for now, Lena had to learn to fall in love with the moment.

Slowly, and gently, she crawled to hover over Amelie, settling herself into the woman's lap.

Amelie pushed back against her kiss, spine arching with no resistance. Lena hummed against her lips, a smile forming on her own.

They were beautiful together, weren't they? Something dangerous, and didn't that make it all the more enticing?

No, she didn't want to hurt Amelie, but she just might have to. Lena ran a hand down the center of Amelie's chest, to the clasped trousers where her black turtleneck was tucked.

Amelie had been right when she had suggested that Lena would be bruised from breaking down her walls, but Lena had never imagined it would be love bites that provided them.

She exhaled as Amelie pressed against her. She knew where this was going, where comfort lay between them when Lena was knocked down a few pegs into her own pleasure.

Lena smirked and raised a hand to those raven tresses, bunching her hand at the base of her hair.

Yes, they would have to discuss this later.


End file.
